Déjame en paz!

At age nineteen I was a university student in Madrid. Because I had previously lived in Venezuela, I thought that I knew a lot about Spanish culture.  

One Saturday evening, all dressed up for dancing, I went out with some fellow students to local nightclubs. As is typical in Madrid, we started out late, around eleven, and enjoyed eating tapas and listening to music until early Sunday morning. Eventually the bars closed.  My friends all lived in the same neighborhood and decided to go home together on the metro. They urged me, however, to get a cab since they didn’t think it would be safe for a young woman to be alone at that hour. I told them stubbornly that I preferred to use the metro as it would be cheaper and I could certainly fend for myself. I went ahead and purchased my ticket. I soon discovered that there were very few madrileños using the metro early on this Sunday morning.

While I was waiting for my train, an older Spanish man passed me and paid me a compliment, as men are wont to do in Latin culture. Since I considered myself a feminist, I was very irritated by his remark. I immediately reacted and snapped at him, saying “Déjame en paz” (“Leave me alone”).

I soon realized that I had made a serious mistake. I had offended his masculinity. His reaction was swift. He grabbed me and slapped my face repeatedly.  Then he stalked off, leaving me traumatized but physically fine, deep in the recesses of the subway.  

Though it was an unpleasant experience, the lesson was an important one. A native madrileña woman would never have reacted; she would simply have ignored the man. In the future, I too went native and used this much safer strategy.

Reed Stevens Skoug
Teacher of Spanish
Ft. Washington, PA